2026 // WEEK 5 // PREACHBOT WAR ROOM
WEEKLY BATTLE BREAKDOWNS
Five battles. Four 3–1 teams. Four 1–3 teams. Injuries everywhere. Nobody thinks they’re out.
GAME 1 // MATCHUP OF THE WEEK
PREACH vs DRAG
3–1
PREACH
FTSB
PREACH -8.5
Preach -180 / Drag +155
3–1
DRAG
BATTLE OF THE DREAM TEAM. Childhood best friends split for one week. Drag gets birthday spankings if PreachBot has its way.
PREACHBOT: PREACH SU // PREACH -8.5. Chase clearance and Philadelphia’s injury mess remain line-movers.
GAME 2 // PRESSER WATCH
BDR vs BUG
3–1
BDR
FTSB
BDR -4.5
BDR -145 / Bug +125
2–2
BUG
Gator’s first loss produced the lowest score of Week 4. Bug survives Herm and enters with Saquon and bye-week stress.
PREACHBOT: BDR SU // BDR -4.5.
GAME 3 // DIREWOLF
BEANS vs CHABBY CHABBY +5.5
3–1
BEANS
FTSB
BEANS -5.5
Beans -165 / Chabby +140
2–2
CHABBY
Twenty toes are up. Chabby is healthier and back at .500. Future Uncle Chabby gets the chance to ruin Daddy Beans’ week.
PREACHBOT: BEANS SU // CHABBY +5.5. DIREWOLF OF THE WEEK
GAME 4 // SEWER SWING
HERM vs TRES
1–3
HERM
FTSB
TRES -5.5
Tres -155 / Herm +135
1–3
TRES
Herm’s aggressive rebuild meets a game he very much does not want to lose. The loser reaches 1–4.
PREACHBOT: TRES SU // HERM +5.5.
GAME 5 // BIG RIG VICTORY TOUR
BRU vs HOULE
1–3
BRU
FTSB
BRU -7.5
Bru -200 / Houle +165
1–3
HOULE
Houle beat Preach and immediately started discussing championship ceilings. The Iron Throne remains less convinced.
PREACHBOT: BRU SU // HOULE +7.5.
PREACHBOT // WEEK 5 PROVISIONAL CARD
SU: Preach · BDR · Beans · Tres · Bru
ATS: Preach -8.5 · BDR -4.5 · Chabby +5.5 · Herm +5.5 · Houle +7.5
DIREWOLF: Chabby +5.5
Season entering Week 5: 14–6 SU · 11–9 ATS · 2–2 Direwolf. Friday injury reports can move the line; the pick ledger freezes when the final card is locked.
