THE WEEKLY RAVEN // WEEK 2 RECAP
SURVIVAL SUNDAY
Week 2 did not care about projections. Quarterbacks went down, contenders turned into urgent-care waiting rooms, Bug went to sleep with a win, and Shy City woke up with only Preach and BDR still undefeated.
PREACHBOT THROUGH WEEK 2
SU 8–2 · ATS 5–5 · DIREWOLF 1–1
WEEK 2 // FINAL BOARD
THE SCOREBOARD
| Matchup | Final | Margin |
|---|---|---|
| Preach def. Tres | 170.48–142.70 | 27.78 |
| Drag def. Houle | 134.26–115.96 | 18.30 |
| BDR def. Chan | 110.86–63.00 | 47.86 |
| Herm def. Bru | 137.40–115.30 | 22.10 |
| Beans def. Bug | 166.00–163.00 | 3.00 |
PREACH 170.48 // TRES 142.70
THE SEA SNAKE GOES TO THE PILLORY
This was a fight for most of Sunday. Tres put up 142.70 — enough to beat six teams in the league — and still walked out 0–2.
Preach took the dagger when Caleb Williams exited with a hamstring injury, but the rest of the roster absorbed it. DeVonta Smith erupted, Jonathan Taylor found the end zone twice, and the depth we talked about last week mattered immediately.
Tres did not play like a Sewer Dweller. The standings simply do not care.
PILLORY WATCH
SEWER DWELLER // LEAGUE DONATOR
The Sea Snake is 0–2. Bring out the wood.
DRAG 134.26 // HOULE 115.96
THE KC TRUTHER SENDS HOULE DEEPER INTO THE SEWER
Drag somewhat looks like Patrick Mahomes. Drag is a KC truther. Drag rosters Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelce. And Sunday night, his entire personality became a viable roster-building strategy.
Mahomes and Kelce helped push Drag to 1–1 while Houle fell to 0–2.
The Hound is not merely in the Sewer anymore. He has begun receiving mail there.
BDR 110.86 // CHAN 63.00
CHAPPETTO: A MEDICAL DOCUMENTARY
BDR won by 47.86 while scoring only 110.86. That tells the story.
Chabby’s roster got obliterated by injuries. Nico Collins was out. Rico Dowdle went down. Other key pieces were unavailable or compromised, and there was no rescue from the healthy stars. What looked like one of the league’s deepest rosters turned into an urgent-care waiting room.
63.00 points. Lowest score of Week 2 by nearly 48.
BDR moves to 2–0 without needing to leave second gear. Chabby gets the microphone.
PRESSER WATCH
CHABBY // WEEK 2 PRESSER DUTY
No questions from PreachBot. The league can handle the interrogation.
HERM 137.40 // BRU 115.30
THE BIGGEST WEEKEND OF HIS LIFE: 2 FOR 3
Herm told the league what was at stake: fantasy, LSU, Vikings. The biggest weekend of his life.
The father of three was just trying to feed his family.
Davante Adams put Herm on his back and carried him past his brother. Bru got put down softly. Minnesota handled Chicago. LSU was the only leg that failed, falling to Ole Miss.
The self-described aggressive rebuilder gets the win he desperately wanted and moves to 1–1. For one week, the rebuild fed the family.
BEANS 166.00 // BUG 163.00
TEN. TOES. UP.
This was the game of the week.
Bug went to sleep thinking the matchup was handled. Reasonable assumption. Then Beans assumed the traditional position: ten toes up, couch, television on, Jerry World.
Dallas erupted. Beans stole it by exactly three points.
Bug went to sleep with the win. Beans went ten toes up. Dallas woke the dead.
And now Bug is somewhere sulking over the Atlantic on the flight home, replaying the exact moment Jerry World ruined his vacation.
PREACHBOT // RECEIPTS
WEEK 2 CARD
| Game | SU | ATS |
|---|---|---|
| Preach -6 vs Tres | ✅ Preach | ❌ Tres +6 |
| Drag -12 vs Houle | ✅ Drag | ✅ Drag -12 |
| Chan -10.5 vs BDR | ✅ BDR | ✅ BDR +10.5 |
| Bru -4.5 vs Herm | ❌ Bru | ❌ Bru -4.5 |
| Beans -14 vs Bug | ✅ Beans | ✅ Bug +14 |
Week 2: 4–1 SU // 3–2 ATS // 1–0 Direwolf
Season: 8–2 SU // 5–5 ATS // 1–1 Direwolf
The Direwolf hit outright. BDR did not merely take the +10.5 — he won by 47.86.
WEEK 2 // INJURY TENT
THE DAMAGE REPORT
Preach: Caleb Williams left with a hamstring injury and enters Week 3 as a major availability concern. Jordan Mason remains on IR.
Chan: Nico Collins was unavailable, Rico Dowdle was injured, and the roster absorbed multiple availability hits in the worst scoring week of the season.
Beans: Jayden Daniels left with an elbow injury after Beans had already needed every Dallas point he could find.
Bug: Saquon Barkley was limited by a stinger, helping turn a projected win into the narrowest loss of the week.
Herm: The roster remains thin in spots, but Davante Adams erased a lot of problems for one night.
AFTER TWO
THE REALM
| Record | Houses |
|---|---|
| 2–0 | Preach, BDR |
| 1–1 | Drag, Herm, Bru, Beans, Bug, Chan |
| 0–2 | Houle, Tres |
Two undefeated teams. Two Sewer residents without a win. One father of three who survived the biggest weekend of his life. One manager sulking somewhere over the Atlantic. And one reigning champion headed directly to the podium after scoring 63 fucking points.
Week 2 is closed. Chabby, the microphone is yours.
ShyCityBros 
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